“He was despised and rejected–a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down.” Isaiah 53:3-4
I read the above scripture this week and was deeply convicted. It was my own sin, my own shame, my own weakness that nailed Jesus to the cross. Yet, how easily I forget not only what I’ve been delivered from, but also the cost Jesus paid to bring me freedom.
It’s easy for us to look at the Jews who mocked Jesus or Judas who betrayed him and think we could never be like that. We could never turn our backs on Him, we could never reject Him. I know I’ve had that thought many times in my life. But as I look back over the years, I know I’m no different than Judas, no different than the Jews who one week praised Jesus and the next cried for Him to be crucified.
I clearly remember a time when I was a teenager wanting to fit in with certain people, being ashamed of my background in Christianity, and even going so far as to admit out loud I wasn’t really all in it with Christ. Just like
Today, my heart is much different. My desire is to be all in with Christ, and I can’t fathom ever admitting with words that I’m not. But I know without a doubt my actions don’t always show it. I miss opportunities to share my faith out of fear of either offending people or not being able to answer their questions. I miss opportunities to spend extra time in God’s Word or in prayer because I’m scrolling Facebook or Instagram or watching youtube.
I want to be ALL in. I want my faith, my love for Jesus, and my love for others to be so strong it is apparent to everyone I come across there’s something different about me. I’m not there yet. But I’m on a journey, really an adventure, of growing closer to Christ each day. Every day I walk with Him is an opportunity to become more like Him, as I allow Him to continually permeate my heart with His character.
Lord, You are so good to me, though I don’t deserve one bit of your goodness. Thank you for what You went through, for being despised and rejected by even me, so I could experience a relationship with You and the abundant life You bring. I’m sorry for rejecting you with my words and my actions. I’m sorry for worrying more about what people think than what You think. Help me to keep my focus on You always. Thank You for loving me so perfectly. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.